In this passage, we see Solomon and his wife spending time together. In chapter 7, verses 1-10, we see Solomon expressing his delight in his wife, and how beautiful she is. He also expresses how much he desires her sexually, saying,
How beautiful you are and how pleasing, O love, with your delights! Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, “I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.” May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples and your mouth like the best wine. (6-9a)
I don’t know how many people would use this kind of imagery today, but the meaning, I think, is quite clear. And she responds with delight, saying,
May the wine go straight to my lover, flowing gently over lips and teeth. (9b)
And as she basks in her husband’s love, she sighs,
I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me. (10)
But it doesn’t stop there, she suggests they go out together, and the purpose is very clear as she says in verses 12-13,
There I will give you my love. The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy, both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my lover. (12-13)
Mandrakes were plants that were known for their aphrodisiacal properties, and so she is essentially saying, “Let’s go out and find somewhere new to make love. I have even stored up some new things, some surprises for us to enjoy together.”
In chapter 8, she continues to show her desire for her husband, saying she wishes that she could be as openly affectionate with her husband in public, as she could with her brother. She thinks back to her mother, and how her mother taught her about love and marriage, and desires to show her mother how well she learned.
And once again, in verses 2-4 we see the sexual desires she has for her husband, all the while charging those who are single to remain pure until marriage, as she had charged them twice before.
What can we get from this? Number one, I think it’s important perhaps even more so for the women, to understand how important sex in marriage. Men are wired to desire sexual intimacy in a very strong way. If you don’t know, women, let me tell you. We think about it constantly.
And while wives are often somewhat different from their husbands in their need for sexual intimacy, and some may not feel such a need for it as often, nevertheless, it’s important to make time for it. To even initiate it as this woman did, and come up with ideas for how to enjoy it more.
Why is it so important? It helps us to bond with each other. But another major reason is that it’s protection for us, especially the husband.
Paul wrote to married couples,
Do not deprive each other [of sex] except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. (I Corinthians 7:5)
He also points out,
The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife (I Corinthians 7:4)
Or as Solomon’s wife puts it,
My lover is mine and I am his (2:16).
And so in marriage, it’s important to make time for each other. To make time for sex, certainly. But also in general, going on dates, and doing things with each other.
How about you? Are you making time for your spouse?